So long story short, yes I’ve taken a bit of a break from the online stuff. I went so far as to remove Facebook and Instagram from my phone as well as taking a bit of a break from blogging for a while (Facebook is back, IG is not).
To try to make an even longer story short, I have Clinical Depression & General Anxiety Disorder. I’ve had both of these things the majority of my life and they’ve been pretty persistent in the past year. I was on medication to help me manage them until I got back to a place where I could handle them without medication but then that medication quit working. Following? Awesome!
Because of my schedule I’ve been putting off making a doctors appointment to go talk to someone other than my normal doctor (aka someone who actually knows SSRIs better and can help me figure out what I should be on) and in doing so I made both of those issues basically 70% worse.
I’ve still been handling day-to-day stuff and forcing myself to ride (most of the time) but it’s been pretty exhausting and so blogging as well as keeping up with my IG and FB just became too much for me. I took a break because I needed to help my brain “reset” some. I’m not yet good to go but I’m going to be calling doctors and making appointments this week (yay) and I just got home from my scheduled week vacation (J and I went to Florida) so I’m doing much better.
Leading up to the vacation was incredibly stressful but having a week off where I was disconnected from most of my life was pretty freaking great (I still played Pokemon and uploaded pictures of the trip to Facebook almost daily). We got home last night and ran around doing a bunch of stuff but I got 11 hours of sleep, and then did the most equestrian thing ever today.
After being gone for a week I went to Dover and bought 2 new pairs of bell boots, a boot bag, a new helmet bag (matches the boot bag), tack cleaner, and a Rambo Flysheet that is being shipped to me. After Dover I went to the farm to ride (Bella was great, I didn’t manage to do Skipper today) and cleaned up my area of the tack-room. I’m researching blanket racks right now (the kind that go up on the wall) so if anyone has suggestions let me know! We need something that can be tucked up out of the way and preferably not too expensive. Bella has 3 blankets, 1 stable sheet, 2 coolers, a quarter sheet, and that new fly sheet on the way. Skipper has a fly sheet and a blanket. The idea here is definitely to make things more organized than the pile that’s been hanging out in the feed-room. I don’t have the go ahead from the barn owner yet but I’m going to put together my options and shoot him an email (and pay for the whole thing if he’s interested in putting one up).
That’s where I’m at, and I’m going to be working on actual pony-related content soon. My main goal right now is definitely to get my head on straight and until it’s on straight I’m going to keep focusing on keeping my life pieced together and riding as much as possible.
If someone could tell NC to warm-up and quit raining that would be great though. I’m tired of riding in crummy weather. Bella’s tired of it too.